Why am I like this? Why? Why so restless? I have to find a permanent solution for this. Even today, I am feeling very low, very down. Not feeling like doing anything. Sachin asked me for TT. Said no to him. Even Niti is also gone. But she has to. She has her ultrasound tomorrow. God, please make all her tests negative. The tests should reveal nothing. She should be fine.
Feeling like banging the computer, throwing the mouse away and cry loudly. You dont get anything by being good to the people. You are just appreciated and that is it. I am tired of people appreciating me. Anyways, this is how my life is shaped. So, cant change it coz this is how it should be.
Anyways, tomorrow I will need to go to mahahir enclave to look for rooms as Mom is coming in september. I hope this is a right decision. My approach to life has completely changed, courtsey last three years. I have become much more negative. Everything that I do, I do it with a negative expectation thiking that it would not be successful. I am full on with life. Quite same as I was. Yet somthing is missing that makes all the differences and concludes that I am not the same as I was. All my thinking, all my decisions conflict with each other. Is this how people lose their mental balance? I think so.
Friday, July 30, 2010
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